Lunchroom Blues
by Cokkii
Summary: Oneshot. Just a bit of humor. Hope you like.


Lunchroom Blues 

Ugh! You could not possibly imagine how bored I was. I have been in and out of the lunchroom at RangeMan for an hour and I still couldn't decide what I wanted to eat. As I stared into the fridge I checked off what there was: healthy, healthy, even healthier. Ugh! Doesn't anyone here eat fast food every once and a while?

I slammed the door shut and slouched into one of the chairs, face planted to the tabletop. I heard people talking as they walked in and smiled when conversation stopped when they spotted me. Someone in black shoes (good guess huh?) walked over to me and sat down in the chair next to me.

"Hungry?" He asked.

I awkwardly nodded but kept my head on the table. I heard the group smile and the door opened once more. I almost died when I recognized the smell of Pino's pizza walk in. I tilted my head to face the door and everyone smiled. "Good to see you didn't collapse. But it would have given us good reason to claim famine." Laughed Lester.

I did a fake laugh. "Oh, ha ha ha. Laugh it up fuzz ball." I took a piece of pizza from the box as everyone laughed at my response. "It's not my fault I don't eat here. Look, all we have is tasteless rabbit food. Hell, Rex doesn't even eat that food if I don't give him pellets to compare it too."

That started a healthy conversation about food we would put in the lunchroom if we had the opportunity. But some how the conversation got switched to music, to books, to super-heroes, to theme songs. And there it stayed, due to my refusal to answer.

"I shouldn't, he'll ship me off to a 3rd world country or something. No, no way am I going to give Ranger a theme song. He's already declared Batman as it is." I had once let slip that I thought Ranger as Batman when a few of the guys were near and now it was Ranger's new nickname, that is, until we have to be serious and professional.

"Come on, _Wonder Woman. _We know you have a song in mind." Cheered Bobby. I hadn't missed the part about being Wonder Woman. I gapped at him and they all laughed. "Ranger decided to return the favor."

"That jerk." I mumbled. I sat quiet for a minute thinking of a response. Apparently it was longer than a minute because they continued the theme song conversation without me. But as they were about to leave I spoke up.

"I'll Make a Man Out of You by Donny Osmond."

Everyone stopped in their tracks and turned to face me. I stood and hummed the tune as I walked past them. As I made my way back to my desk I past Ranger and as I did, I stopped humming only long enough to say, "Hey, Batman." Before I continued on my way. I was almost out of earshot I heard him say, "Same to you Wonder Woman." I was determined not to turn around as I heard the guys laughing in the background.

0000ooo0000

It was almost quitin' time when I felt my 'spidey sense' go off, telling me Ranger was behind me. I only turned to face him when I had shut down the computer, and had grabbed my bag. And not to my surprise he was blocking the doorway.

"Can I help you?" I kept my distance but it seemed to vanish suddenly.

"The guys and I have been having quite an interesting conversation."

I gulped. The guys always had loose tongues around Ranger. I looked past him and saw the guys, they were terrified. A couple other guys asked them something and followed their gaze. Soon enough a small crowd had gathered and I was assuming that was what Ranger was waiting for.

"Really? What was it this time? Movies, books, music, their opinions on the lunchroom food?" I could tell Ranger was ready to strike on the music comment but I knew he had an idea when he had heard the food comment.

"And what are their opinions?" He asked. I have been able to learn how to read the RangeMan guys as I have worked here. I had also learned that the food was an ongoing game and battle.

"Oh the same as usual." I shrugged. I small smile played at the corners of Ranger's lips. I was hoping he would leave or at least move. But again his ESP kicked in and he shook his head.

"Can't do that, Babe. The guys are expecting a little resistance of some kind. A little fight of sorts. We wouldn't want to disappoint." I was silent for a moment before I answered.

"So you are asking me to fight with you and storm out yes?" He was shaking his head and was just about to say something when I shouted out so everyone could hear.

"You're breaking up with me because you're gay?" I put an upset and confused look on my face and pushed past him. I was laughing so hard at the expression on his face, it was beyond sound and I had tears streaming down my face.

I made it to the elevator in time to see the shock on everyone else's faces before the door closed. I would hate the payback when it came but I would cherish this memory until I die.


End file.
